Zombie Politics

I drank your milkshake.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Fuck the Glitz and Grammar

The album is as amazing as its cover, which is to say - QUITE. Full review soon.

Boy, Girl, or Horribly Overlong, Mediocre Romantic Comedy? (Spoiler alert: It’s the latter.)

Movie Review – Knocked Up

One thing I know is that Judd Apatow makes lots of people lots of money. I imagine one of those people is himself. I don’t know this for sure, because I have never spoken to him, nor do I have his phone number (so I can’t call him and ask). But according to IMDB (we’ll forget about how shockingly unreliable much of its information is for argument’s sake) has six movies, under various states of creative control, in production. That’s a lot of movies. He’s like a one man Steven Soderbergh. Oh wait.

I will admit, too, that he is a very talented man. He was responsible, at least partially, for bringing us Adam McKay’s Anchorman and Talladega Nights, both of which pushed absolutely bizarre, almost surreal comedy on an unsuspecting world in the guise of a Will Farrell comedy. (They are, in fact, much weirder and less benign.) But as a writer-director, I’m not so sure about this Judd Apatow guy, mainly because he’s kind of a lousy writer-director.

Take Knocked Up, his new movie as a writer-director that opens this very day in the year 2000 ought 7. It is a cute romantic-ish comedy with a lot of great performances and some nice things to say about how we treat each other (hence the ‘cuteness’). Still, as a movie, it falls short. First of all, it’s two hours and nine minutes. Somebody needs to listen to Woody Allen and John Waters when they talk about how comedies should be 90 minutes long, because it’s the god’s honest truth. This thing feels like it was nine months long, like it was filmed in real time, 24-style. Also, every possible subplot is explored, unnecessarily. I’m all for characterization, deepening the relationships, but we’re not talking about Zodiac here, there is no decades-long chase for an elusive serial killer. It’s a bawdy romantic comedy called Knocked Up. Porky’s didn’t pull that shit. Neither should this. Much of the movie exists as an incredibly long deleted scene (and this is with three editors under his belt).

Also, it’s completely lacking in style. The cinematography, once more, is atrocious (look at The 40 Year Old Virgin for a great example of German expressionist-style harsh shadows even though it’s set in an electronics store and was shot by Eastwood’s DP – what the fuck?) – the back alley behind a club at midnight looks exactly like the inside of a house during the day. It’s all over-lit and flat. And on the argument that comedies can’t have style, look no further than Edgar Wright’s movies – those are gorgeous.

Apatow has the same basic directing style as Kevin Smith, where he just kind of photographs people talking. Which is all well as good, if it weren’t so fucking boring (I'd argue that Smith is a better, or at least more truthful, writer, but both fall back on their 'endless pop culture references' laurels too often). Just because you come from a television background, like Apatow, doesn’t mean your movie has to look like an episode of King of Queens. (Look no further than J.J. Abrams and Mission: Impossible III.)

The critical response seems to tell me that I’m an asshole (that’d be Rotten Tomatoes score of 91%, with the more discerning Metacritic clocking it at 88% - compared to Hot Fuzz’s 89 and 81%), with closet gay bobble head doll A.O. Scott calling it an “instant classic” (earlier this year he said he wouldn’t “sit through” Planet Terror to get to Death Proof, the asshole). This is no instant classic. Although Judd Apatow sure would like you to think so. He’s got a machine to feed, afterall.

Amazingly Funny

Michael Cera gets fired from Knocked Up

I hope the movie is just as good. I would have seen it last night if I wasn't horribly, horribly sick.

Michael Consiglio Should Not Be Allowed to Monologue

I'm not really sure what this is from or what this is for, but I'm just happy to further share Michael Consiglio and his ruggedly handsome genius with the world. Also, on a personal note, I'm watching Congo right now. Not sure why, really.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Dragonette @ Mercury Lounge - 5.17.07

Dragonette is a Canadian/English band that sound kind of like the Scissor Sisters, except with a savvier electro-pop-edge. There’s less of a wink in their sophisticated, sexy pop – if it’s at all possible, they are able to conjure up genuine sincerity. And their relationship songs, if a bit exaggerated, don’t seem like they’re happening on another planet. They are also quite brilliant.

Led by the devastatingly handsome husband-wife duo of Martina Sorbara and Dan Kurtz, I was positively overjoyed by last year’s self-titled five-song EP. I knew an album was coming this summer and knew I’d kick myself in the pants if I didn’t see them live, especially in an itty-bitty venue like Mercury Lounge (in the UK they’ve opened for Duran Duran, Basement Jaxx, and the Sugababes).

The first thing that shocked me was how hard they rocked. I was expecting at least one other band member to be obscured behind some towering pile of synthesizers and keyboards but there wasn’t even a keyboard on stage. There was some rudimentary processing going on through he PA system but that’s it. They were all noisy guitars and drums and great vocals!

Even though the room was about as crowded as a middle school dance and only a handful of them were dancing (myself included), they put on a really fucking great show. Martina is a disco diva in the making - all sex and swagger, wearing a backless, low cut top and flowing white Donna Summer pants. The rest of the band was equally done up (the British guitarist even put on a tie right before the show); they were all very cute.

They played a lot of the new album, and everything sounded really good. I got a hold of the album a few days later and can tell you the live show really reflects the album – gone are the minimalist beats and throbbing electronics from the EP, replaced (mostly) with a larger, more lush pop-rock sound (and not in the horrible, Killers’-second-album way). I'll get around to writing a short, pointless review sometime soon, but the long and short of it is that it's really, really great.

Highlights included current single “I Get Around” (which maintains much of the EP’s sleazy, low-tech sound), “Marvelous” (which had a great faux Middle Eastern back and forth between husband and wife), powerhouse “True Believer,” “Black Limousine” (Martina: “About men who spend all their money on women”) and “Competition” (Martina: “About the time I fucked your boyfriend”).

Love them, love her, loved the show, love the album.


Jesus Doesn’t Love Me Anymore
I Get Around
True Believer
You Please Me
Black Limousine
Take It Like A Man


Track By Motherfuckin’ Track: Rihanna’s New Album [Updated]

The new Rihanna album leaked and it’s really fucking great. It makes the new Amerie album, for which there are maybe four or five good songs ("Crush" is a killer), look like a bad, but still adorable, dream. I'd argue it's as good as the new Sophie Ellis Bextor album... and that album is pretty goddamn stunning. The more you listen to it, the more you love it. Here’s my track-by-track review, with a format blatantly stolen from PopJustice’s review of the Timbaland album. Enjoy!

01 Umbrella
I consider this to be one of the best songs of the year, if not the single greatest pop accomplishment so far. If there are seven different parts of a song that can get stuck in your head, then it’s a success. Also, as we were walking around rainy NYC this weekend, we heard a gaggle of little black girls singing it. (GET IT??) And that was fucking awesome. The whole album couldn’t possibly be as good as this song, right? (Ballsy move having this be the first track – did Jay-Z sequence this thing?) Onwards…

02 Push Up On Me
In the current ‘Summer Music Preview’ (aka Overlong Commercial for Mostly-American, Big Album Releases), Entertainment Weekly talks about how she was inspired by ‘80’s pop’ for this album. This song is definite proof of that. The skittering little synthy sound is a testament to that, with the chorus being sung in an 80’s B-girl sort-of way. Also, it’s pretty sexual, which is fun for a pop record – being subversive is what pop’s all about (look no further than the brilliant new Maroon 5 album for a great example of that - just filthy!)
Is it as good as “Umbrella?” No.

03 Don’t Stop the Music
On first listen you may think that Rihanna is just doing her dancehall thang again, but then that electro bounce comes in and then, oh baby, oh baby, that Michael Jackson sample comes in. It's subtle, but when it explodes, whew, stand back. Somebody's going to get hurt.
Is it as good as “Umbrella?” No.

04 Breaking Dishes
This song is INCREDIBLE. This might be because it’s actually incredible, or because it sounds an awful lot like a song Kelis would do (and I loves me some Kelis). Also, it’s about spousal abuse, except she’s the one breaking dishes over her man’s head – until the police come! Whew – she is a spark plug, huh?
Is it as good as “Umbrella?” Almost. Ask me again at the end of the summer.

05 Shut Up and Drive
Another stand out track. This is the comeback single Kelly Clarkson should have released, instead of whatever racket she’s brandying about on the radio. This one is also really sexy and subversive (huh, wonder what ‘smoother than a limo ride’ means…) It kind of reminds me what an American version of Nadiya’s super-awesome “Tous Ces Mots” would sound like (except probably not that good). Here’s a video for that Nadiya song, which I also love:

Oh, is it as good as “Umbrella?” No. But it's THIIIIIIS CLOSE.

06 Hate That I Love You
This is the song she does with Ne-Yo. It’s typical Ne-Yo bullshit. As much as I love “So Sick,” it doesn’t keep me from realizing that EVERYTHING NE-YO DOES SOUNDS EXACTLY THE SAME. This is no exception. Still, vocals from Rihanna does go a long way for making this song ‘listenable.’ On further listens, it has been upgraded to really, really good.
Is it as good as “Umbrella?” No.
Is it as good as “So Sick?” Nope.

07 Say It
Not the greatest, but still very good.
Is it as good as “Umbrella?” No.

08 Sell Me Candy
Now we’re talking! This is probably one of the Timbaland songs, as far as I can tell. This is awesome because it’s a perfect summer song, because it’s got an utterly perverse subtext, and because the beat is a wicked, skittering beast that can probably take over the world, given adequate time and funding. (I’m not sure who is doing the backing vocals, but Mr. JT is supposed to make an appearance somewhere – boy, linear notes sure would be helpful!)
Is it as good as “Umbrella?” No.

09 Lemme Get That
Another incredible song. Not sure who does the production on this, but it also feels like Mr. Mosley had a hand in it (the background “Oh!” screams of Timbaland). Again, the backing vocals could easily be Justin, but just as easily not be Justin. Fuck. Let’s focus on what we do know: that the beat is great, it plays up the dancehall elements of past Rihanna hits but is totally more pop, and it’s about using a man for his money, kind of like Dragonette’s “Black Limousine.”
Is it as good as “Umbrella?” No.

10 Rehab
The best slow-jam on the album, the only way it could be better if it was an actual cover of the Amy Winehouse song (we’ll save that for Ronson’s next album of covers - except this time he’ll cover his own songs!) This is DEFINITELY a Timbaland joint. It’s quite good.
Is it as good as “Umbrella?” No.

11 Question Existing
LOVE IT. Pretty sexy.
Is it as good as “Umbrella?” No.

12 Good Girl Gone Bad
Yes – the question is finally answered – how did Rihanna go bad? Werewolf attack? Nazi recruitment? Well, actually, I’m not quite sure. Just that you shouldn’t be the reason a good girl goes bad. (That’s for us fellas.) This is a nice little pop song, nothing too challenging, but not epic enough to close out the album. Still great.
Is it as good as “Umbrella?” No.

See His Pug Nose Face - Ricky Gervais @ Theater @ MSG - May 19th, 2007

On Saturday night, we (me and the missus) made our way to the Theater at Madison Square Garden (a venue I hate, mostly because of a horrible experience seeing Beck there last year) to see RICKY FUCKING GERVAIS. I was beyond excited. I am a huuuuuuge Gervais fan. The Office, Extras, the podcast, his episode of The Simpsons (still on my TiVo)… It’s insane. I even saw Valiant because of him, and that’s an awful animated movie about messenger pigeons during World War I (yeah… it was thrilling).


I was thrilled. And it didn’t disappoint. First off, David Bowie came out to introduce him, which was amazing. The show was part of his Highline Festival, a loosely connected bunch of concerts and performances around New York City, but he didn’t show at the Arcade Fire show or any of the other events (as far as I know). Still, he was at the Gervais performance! What’s more is that he sang his song from the second season of Extras! Amazing! If you haven’t seen that episode yet, here’s his musical interlude:

It was so great. I’ve seen David Bowie twice in the past few months but this is the first time he’s ever sung. And even if it was a joke song, at least I can say – I have seen David Bowie sing. While wearing an outfit I can only describe as a ‘dueling tuxedo’. Draw!

Onto the main event – it was wonderful. Ricky Gervais is a comedy treasure. He really, really is. His delivery, his transitions, his stories – they’re all pure gold. Even though a majority of the material was made up of preexisting jokes from his popular “Animals” and “Politics” UK tours, well, it takes a real geek with a Region-Free DVD player and a couple of imported discs to have ever seen that… And no one like that would ever author such a high-brow blog like Zombie Politics… Um… Yeah, so the jokes weren’t all new, but that’s okay! (I suspect one of the reasons why this isn’t a strict translation of his current tour is because that one is called “Fame” and he’s not all that famous here… YET.)

The set was about an hour and a half, and there was very little of that time that I didn’t spend laughing. Even someone letting out a huge yawn from the audience gave Ricky an opportunity to riff on the rudeness of the man and the boringness of his performance. “You should’ve brought a book!” he cackled. Just great. This really did feel like a ‘special’ performance, even though he did a couple of warm-up shows earlier in the week.

Report Card

David Bowie's Introduction: A+

Ricky Gervais' performance: A+

The pasta we had afterwards: A+

Overall - an A+ night!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

An Awful DVD Cover for an Amazing Movie

Zodiac fucking rules. This DVD cover? Not so much. It seems to be saying "Come see the movie with giant hovering heads! But please, beware of the fog!"

Thanks to the always-wonderful DavisDVD.

By the way, this movie comes out on July 24th, which will officially be a very expensive day for geeks. Not only is this coming out but so is Perfume: Story of a Murderer, The Host, Hot Fuzz, Tales from the Crypt Season 6 and (FINALLY) Monster Squad. When it rains, it pours (DVDs).


[Alternate title for this post: Shrek the Turd. Thank you.]

Movie Review - Shrek the Third

Shrek the Third is an annoying, unfunny, lazy mess of an animated motion picture. Quite frankly, the Ratatouille trailer (which ran beforehand) dwarfed all of Shrek 3, in terms of artistry, humor and wit, in a little under two minutes. The voice acting was truly atrocious, with Justin Timberlake showing none of the charm or talent he showcased earlier this year in the terrible Alpha Dog and the terribly underrated Black Snake Moan. Also, Cameron Diaz should give up acting of any kind, this has now been extended to voice acting. The paperwork is currently being filed.

One of the more annoying things about the movie is the way they treat the princesses. Now, I’m not going to go off on all that big of a tangent here, although I’d really, really like to. (The Disney Princess product line irks me something fierce. But that’s for another time, or perhaps the days when I’m muttering to myself in the corner, small slivers of drool dribbling out the side of my mouth.)

So, Shrek is all about turning the fairy tale conventions on their ear, right? So the princesses immediately lay down, waiting to be saved! Oh man – how unconventional! They’re really tweaking the system! Oh, wait, no, that’s horribly insulting and antifeminist. What’s more, when they finally do spring into action, one of the things they show are their bras being burned. Oooo, how ‘edgy’ (in a first-year-on-UPN kind of way)! What’s more is that bra burning is a historically incorrect occurrence. Feminism in the sixties paralleled the anti-war movement. There was a movement following the 1968 Miss America pageant to remove bras, although this was more metaphoric than literal. Anyway, there were some bras taken off. At the same time what was REALLY being burned? Draft cards! Burning draft cards + discarded bras in metal trashcan = bras on fire.

Hence, the term “bra burning.” (I’ll try to find some documentation on this instead of relying on my poorly worded remembrance.)

Anyway… The whole thing really pissed me off. Also offensive: the movie being so lame.

On the up side, we did see the new trailer for Transformers which was nice and noisy. That’s something. I guess.

Michael Consiglio Should Not Be Allowed on the Interweb

So, as the president of the Michael Consiglio Fan Club and Salad Bar (I'm also a member), it is my duty to alert everyone to all things Consiglio-related. The newest thing is this, an Internet series with the kid from Arrested Development. You know the one. Yeah, him. It looks really, really great and Mike tells me he's in Episode 9, playing a singing waiter. Hopefully the waiter is French. Either way - I can't wait!!! Here's the (very funny) trailer for the series:

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Other Recent Pop Records That Are Really Very Good

These are all really wonderful albums that I love a lot and are current iPod fixtures. I think you'd enjoy them too.

Justice for All

Record Review – Justice,

As I mentioned earlier, I’m totally gay for Ed Banger Records, the bleeding-edge French dance label that is filled to the brim with insanely talented deejays, producers, and performers. And, in particular, I’m totally gay for Justice; the duo behind some of the best singles and remixes of the past couple of years (their Mystery Jets remix made you almost think the Mystery Jets were worth listening to). I’ve finally been able to hear their first full-length, , and it is a total masterpiece. I mean that. It’s fucking unbelievable. And my previous gay-Justice-love did nothing to dull the impact of this thing.

First and foremost, this is more or less a straight up pop record. If you start your career remixing a song for Britney Spears and Madonna, then I think your place in the pop pantheon is pretty much assured. But the absolute pop music joy that spills out of this thing is infectious – handclaps, synths, guest vocalists, sing-alongs, the list goes on and on and on. It’s simultaneously cinematic and schoolyard. Opening track “Genesis” sets the mood, a booming introduction that, once the pomp and circumstance is over, bounces very, very hard. “D.A.N.C.E.,” with its insanely infectious and clever lyrics, is going to be the next “One More Time.” It’ll be played in the clubs, on the radio, etc. etc. – a transgressive dance-pop tune that grandmothers and grandsons will dance to together. And I mention Daft Punk because this is very much influenced by those outer space robots, and not the disco-era Discovery Daft Punk but the crunchy, meddlesome Human After All Daft Punk, all post-millennial chaos and messiness. What’s really amazing is that even when they’re making a lousy album, Daft Punk manages to shape the face of pop music.

The gloom and doom of Human After All can definitely be felt, but there’s an uplifting quality to the music that cannot be denied. (One paragraph up, I call it a pop record – still with me?) The thunderous storm clouds of “Let There Be Light” gives way to a futuristic, utopian glitter-field by song’s end; “New Jack” sounds like an old school beat box anthem; the Dario Argento movie-sampling “Phantom” may be sort of scary but that’s part of the joke, by “Phantom, Part II,” it’s become a spooky party jam – like 2010’s “Thriller;” “Valentine” is a charming, under-three-minute-trifle; and “Stress” is, literally, Fantasia on crack. Literally. Just wait. Just you fucking wait.

There’s two songs I want to talk about the most: “The Party,” which features vocals by fellow Ed Banger Uffie. Uffie is an incredibly young French girl who writes incredibly vulgar raps. This sounds like some cheeky gimmick, I know, but her rhymes and beats (provided by boyfriend/fellow Ed Banger Feadz) easily surpass Lady Sovereign in hummability and cleverness. On “The Party,” she gives her laid back verse against Three 6 Mafia samples (let’s all agree: amazing) and synths that wouldn’t sound out of place at Communicore in EPCOT Center, circa 1981. The song is EXCELLENT, a sure-fire mix tape/DJ session staple for the summer of 2007, and proof of the awesome power Justice could yield as a Richard X-style pop production force. Further proof: the next song, “DVNO,” featuring vocals by Mehdi Pinson, singer for other Ed Banger alums Scenario Rock. Justice did a fantastic remix of a Scenario Rock song and they’re returning the favor with some killer vocal work in a song that is unstoppable. My two main criteria for appreciating music is if it can make me either jump around or sing along, and when both can happen I’m transported to a blissful land of pure happiness (part of the reason I pledge allegiance to the Jaxx). “DVNO” is one of those songs. It’s so cool. I’m not sure what the song is about, except that DVNO is printed in capitol letters (in gold, no less). I’ll get back to you on that one. These two songs just exhibit such assurance and talent in the production department that the next Justice full length, which will undoubtedly be stock piled with vocals from people they’ve wooed or worked with, will be an even greater steam-powered juggernaut of pop awesomeness.

The album ends with a couple of the earlier, nastier singles, “Waters of Nazareth” and “One Minute to Midnight.” And while these are fairly gnarly electronic pretzels (slightly reworked from their original form, which the duo always insisted were “demos”), they are also a bit of a mood killer. The mix of the apocalyptic and jovial had such an even balance on the album up until this point; to throw it away for sheer defeatism is definitely the letdown I make it out to be. But still, the songs are nowhere near bad. They are, in fact, ingenious. And like everything else on the album, you don’t know whether to sit in amazement or shake your moneymaker.

We Have a Lot to Talk About

To quote my friend, who called me from Colorado following the episode's conclusion: "holy shitballs."

That about sums it up. More later.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

A Terrible Record

Record Review – Linkin Park, Minutes to Midnight

I mean it: awful. I had read earlier (in the unexceptional Rolling Stone spring music preview) that they were ditching their patented rap-rock sound in favor of more earthy rock textures, courtesy of chubby, bearded shut-in Rick Rubin. Considering their patented rap-rock sound was the only thing that made them even remotely interesting, this seemed like a horrible mistake. Especially since the equally horrible Rick Rubin was behind the transformation.

As far as overrated producers go, he’s the leader of the pack (vroom vroom). He has made one good song in the past, oh, five years, and that song was “99 Problems,” which could probably be contributed to ‘clever sampling’ over ‘dazzling production work.’ He had recorded almost an entire album’s worth of material with Justin Timberlake, only to have it scrapped in favor of Timbaland’s mesmerizing, jittery, futuristic beats (the sole survivor from the Rick Rubin sessions, the album’s last track, is easily the most forgettable thing on the record). You know why? Because he sucks. And he has no creative filter. Timbaland records a song for a B-lister like Omarion and the result is “Ice Box,” a slow jam that rivals “My Love.” Rick Rubin does the Dixie Chicks, Shakira, Weezer, Neil Fucking Diamond... and it’s all the same, worthless shit.

Like the second Bloc Party album, Minutes to Midnight’s chief offense is being really, really boring. Songs like “Shadow of the Day” and “Leave Out All the Rest” are painfully bland and for all their ‘weight’ leave you feeling NOTHING. It makes you wonder how these boys authored such rousing, fun songs like “Faint” (whose video, by Mark Romanek, is one of the best ever). Even the songs that could have promise as exciting enterprises quickly fizzle. “Bleed it Out” has a neat hand-clappy background but becomes repetitive and dull. The same for “In Pieces,” which has some exiting little beat-things going on in the background, goes nowhere, fast. Even the more rocky songs just sound like racket, and even the screaming (a Linkin Park touchstone) seems lackluster.

What’s especially disappointing is how much hope is riding on this album. It will no doubt do well, but the critical and commercial accolades will not be poured over them. They’ll wonder why they went so soft. And why they hired that chubby shut-in to do it.

Ed Banger Record Showcase @ Hiro Ballroom - March 29th, 2007

[Again: sorry for it being so late! Blame our professional photographer!]

The night before the LCD show, there was a great Ed Banger Records showcase at Hiro Ballroom. The Presets, an Australian synth pop two-man-band on the same label as The Avalanches and Cut Copy, opened. They were surprisingly good, although Hiro’s sound system/acoustics aren’t all that great for vocals. When they dropped in a bit of Daft Punk’s “Da Funk” into their set, the crowd went wild. The audience was filled with Francophiles. For the rest of the night, any time anything even remotely Daft Punk-y was played (and it was played a lot – Ed Banger chief Busy “Motherfucking” P is the robots’ manager) – the crowd went even more berserk. (This was also two days before tickets went on sale for the Brooklyn Daft Punk show, too, so keep that in mind.)

As I was waiting in line, and talking to a young Jewish guy who was there for the free bar and ended up, totally shit-faced, dancing on stage later in the night, I wondered how they were going to fit all the artists in. DJ Mehdi, Sebastian, duo Justice, Busy P, and album cover designer So Me were all in attendance. How could they possibly all perform? Would the show end at noon the following Tuesday?

I got my answer when the curtain was raised and they all came out at the same time. It was really crazy and fun, they each contributed to each other’s “sets,” with Busy P more or less acting as ringleader, alternately antagonizing the audience (he claimed “San Francisco was much better”) and hyping them up.

It was a one of a kind show and really, really awesome. They are all embarrassingly talented (just having the audacity to play “Bohemian Like You” blew me away) and the Justice full length should be the album of the summer. I hope.

Also, the award for the most annoying guy on the dance floor goes to this overzealous Gay-sian:

Fuck you, dude.

LCD Soundsystem @ Bowery Ballroom - March 30th, 2007

[Apologies for this post’s tardiness]

A few months ago LCD Soundsystem played a show at the Bowery Ballroom. It was, in fact, very good. James Murphy is an extremely talented mo-fucka (I’d say this to his face, including the mo-fucka part, even though I’m not even totally sure what that means). The set was really great, equal parts first and second album (the second album, Sound of Silver, still being the greatest pop record of the year so far) with the odd smattering of pre-album singles (I think he did “Yeah” – it was so long ago!) He has such an amazing voice, and really gave it his all. “New York I Love You…” really was a showstopper. A hilarious moment presented itself when the drummer blew out the kick drum and Murphy scaled the mountainous pile of equipment off stage to retrieve another one, remarking about how only his band would have an entire separate kick drum just for this occasion. Great stuff.

Unfortunately, he picked the absolutely worst opener he could – this insane art-rock-dance chick name Planningtorock, even though she should have been called Excellingatsuck. She stood on a chair, in an all-white outfit, while some weird ass images projected on a screen behind her. She sang along (poorly) to a prerecorded beatbox rhythm. It was excrutiating. The worst part is she must think she’s making some kind of statement, or thinks she’s Bjork, or something – self-delusion is always rather sad. Like how I think people read this blog.

Also, the crowd was fucking lame. They were moshing – like, seriously moshing. It was really stupid and unnecessary. It’s FUCKING DANCE MUSIC. Did people mosh to Donna Summer? No. They were too busy doing coke. I wish the same could be applied here.

Michael Consiglio Should Not Be Allowed On Television

Michael Consiglio, friend, colleague, creative partner and hetero-life-partner, did a bit of acting on a little show called Scrubs. (Yes, the sad truth: I just talk about television shows. He gets to act on them. The bastard.) I don’t know all that much about the show, except that it’s about some hotshot doctor named House that doesn’t play by the rules, especially when confronted with weird, mysterious illnesses.

Anyway, whatever the show is about – congratulations Mike!!!!

Alternate post title: Scrubs Will TOTALLY Change Your Life [Garden State Reference, a-thank you]